I'm hoping an international coalition force will liberate oppressed American women from the Santoriban if he takes office in 2012.

I had to inform @lower_case that C-10 is now a law and that there are new minimum sentences for Time Outs. #lazydad

Converting from metric, walking 1.3km with a 6YO having a tantrum feels like approximately 28.3 miles. #lazydad

Nerd gloves. http://t.co/dz8vYxKs

I remember when 'Content Strategy' was called 'Web Copy'.

Huntonburghenge: setting sun is aligned with Wellington St. http://t.co/vruUjPG0

Considering the amount of tweeting from airports OAuth should replace passports.

The low, rustling sound of thousands of startups adding "Like Pinterest for 𝑥" to their pitch decks.

Old Man Toews is collared by Shaggy in HoC and shouts, "I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kid pornographers!"

So new Dell ad featuring fart photographer is…fake? Or is it all a clever meta ruse from Dell. Adception. http://t.co/SvkAi1td

Wooo-Woooo!! The Fire A Transit Exec Week party just won't stop!!! OC Transpo's Mercier is out: http://t.co/puQas5Gp

RT @matthewdoucette: while i was on vacation, my parents broke into my apartment and did all my laundry.

RT @PatMartinMP: You have a right to know everything your Govt is doing in nearly all respects; they have a very limited right to know w ...

RT @mgeist: RT @ivortossell: Bill C-30 isn't about child pornographers, or Toews; it's about unintended consequences http://t.co/EQQedLfz

Rolled up the rim on my Bridgehead coffee and it says "At least you're not drinking Tim Hortons coffee".

Note to every business: option one on your phone tree should be "Press 1 if you're trying to give us money" & connect immediately to a human

Vic Toews is watching you eat lunch at your desk. http://t.co/b3WdsnQE

Roh-roh. Anonymous planning on blacking out the Internet on March 31. http://t.co/lq7dFE88

Vic Toews is watching you. Govern yourself accordingly. http://t.co/oRpA7mCr

Nothing makes you feel more alive than those 30 seconds between posting a DM fail and deleting it.

Rick Santorum photomontage portrait made from gay porn (oddly, SFW). http://t.co/pFnBHekZ

RT @tamaramanning: Finally!!! Here we go! :) RT “@flavouredechoes: It's official! We are open for business :D http://t.co/yPwirK9d”

Not only does #C30 allow the government to watch over your shoulder online it also permits them to point at and touch your screen.

Pinterest to launch in lucrative Québec market with http://t.co/FrNzzOUM

RT @melaniekarin: Ten bucks says Blue Ivy's first word is CRAY.

Grocery shopping. Van Halen's 'Panama' is playing. Amazed this constitutes muzak now.

Pinterest coming under fire for copyright issues…apparently there's no fair use anymore.

Keyboard creases on my face.

Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin, 72, punches a moontard. #science http://t.co/tUxwSZMa

RT @BennyBerman: Ironically, this is a police department with members caught distributing porn @ctvbc: VPD supports Bill C-30 http://t.c ...

Klout is like a Kardashian sister: merely talking about them gives them undeserved power. / cc @goonth @cmcanoy

Whether winning or losing, the waiting is the worst part.

Only ginger cookies left at Bridgehead Caroline. Luckily they're @lower_case's favorite. http://t.co/m82p80fh

Great idea. Next, give me a guest account. RT @petapixel: iOS unlock screen to include slider for faster camera access: http://t.co/wR34ur9M

I hate hearing bad news about a good friend.

RT @Barry_Keegan: @scottoakley @Brendan_Mullen @ALL_CAPS @mikemachargo need your help to bring @indochino to Ottawa. We need #SuitUpOtt ...

RT @ryananderson: You can all quit your copywriting jobs. The perfect ad has been created: http://t.co/lRGrFb1D

RT @lheron: Pinterest code will let publishers opt out of having their site content shared http://t.co/pgYkJVJN via @michsineath

Is 'Austerity' the new Keynes?

RT @monicarooney: I like the Downton Abbey folk looking at the phone like the aliens from Sesame Street. Ba-ring! Yep yep yep yep.

After five days in Vancouver, this -8C thing does not amuse me.

I grew up playing Oregon Trail so flying Air Canada feels familiar. #YouHaveBrokenAnAxle

Flight out! Goodbye YVR and @stepc.

'Blargh' auto corrected to 'Blatchford'.

Pilot apologized for late departure. I guess I can't blame him for corporate policy.

I think the West Coast could support a regional hipster airline that flies DC-8's.

Air Canada is like a time machine that always lands an hour or two farther in the future than you expected.

I don't pay for assigned seating on flights but might be convinced to spring for it if I could see a picture of prospective seat mates.